... california dreaming ...

Thursday, October 23, 2003 call and answer

but i'm warning you,
don't ever do
those crazy messed up
things that you do.
If you ever do
i promise you
i'll be the first to crucify you.
now it's time, to prove
that you've come back here
to rebuild....
...rebel...
...rebuild...

~barenaked ladies

Turntable Jessie 10:51 PM [+]
...

I wish that I
had seeped into you
like the moonlight had crushed
into your midnight glance.

but oh, how insistantly
i would rest on your shouldar,
like te dew we would wipe
off of your front windsheild.

Turntable Jessie 1:19 PM [+]
...

and if the sky still falls,
i'll be waiting here still,

flames askew,
but waiting
,true,
and hating you
for what you did
to me.

Turntable Jessie 10:07 PM [+]
...

Turntable Jessie 10:29 PM [+]
...

We walked down my street.
Your hand touching mine, but we
were too secretive.

Turntable Jessie 4:31 PM [+]
...

.

Turntable Jessie 4:25 PM [+]
...

The Lasting Glance

Today we find our young heroine in ruins.
Her hair is matted,
her face wet with tears.

All forces are against her!
BANG!
Her soul shudders with the blow.
POW!
She takes the jab to her gut.

She lies broken on the floor.
Will she get up?
Will she release her wrath?

Her super powers are weakend by the increased lithium in the nearby caves...

the enemy stands before her.

he is tall and handsome,
the epitome of dark.
his baritone laugh echos in the caves,
his majestic black robe shades his eyes.

and he smiles at her,

a smile to dominate any thought,
full of evil and contempt,
sweet insanity radiating from his lips.

He informs her of her own execution,
slowly forming the words,
as if it were painfull for him,

but she clearly holds
the most pain of all

But have no fear, dear listeners,
for strength is easier done than said
when one has nothing to lose.

Climbing to her feet,
brushing her hair out of her eyes,
her gaze catches his own evil glare
and refuses to withdraw.

While under her spell,
he notices the tragic pain between her long lashes,
a hurt so strong
you would sooner wish for death.

he thinks of his mother.

Meanwhile, she has situated her pistol
out of it it's holster,
a simple life taker,
gleaming with pride.

With little to no effort,
she rests the gun's tip on his chest
Our heroin is waiting, barely resisting,
to peirce his charred heart.

you want her to pity him, don't you?
you want her to walk away.
to remain innocent.

so does he.

but she pulls the trigger.
the pain was too strong.
the shot is defening.
she was afraid.
the bullet glides out.
she never loved him anyways.

it enteres his heart.
she looks in his eyes.

once more.

and lets him fall to the ground.
alone.
and she leaves.
alone.
even though she knows
that she has no where
to go.

Turntable Jessie 5:30 PM [+]
...

http://www.livejournal.com/users/lastnightslove/

Turntable Jessie 5:28 PM [+]
...

nostalgic affliction...:
~i feel bad for the fact that the times got messed up and some people couldn't go to the beach... i mean specially when we got home at 5.00 anyway...it seems like more could have worked out.
~ conversley, i feel bad for ryan in the fact that so many people were gone at so many points during the day of his b.day...
~ i feel flat out horrible for yelling at him. i was so pent up and so frusterated, and being told to drive back and forth just wasn't my thing...so if ya read this ry, i'm still sorry. and i'm really sorry things got kinda weird there for a while (yeah, that moment right before we went onto the beach...with maggie bleeding and me complaining and...yeah, you know) it really sucked that you had to speand even a few seconds of your b.day like that
~I'm sick of this church shit. that's why i wanted to stop hanging out with those people... matt, i don't know why you keep involving me in this, but it's stupid. i mean, who knows, maybe i'm just a large source of entertainment for you? i don't know...i just don't care any more...
~ yes, i feel bad about getting mad at jason too. i did it because i'd do anything for my friends at any given moment and when that doesn't inspire them even in the slightest to do the same for each other, it makes me really upset
~ i feel bad for making val wait so long
~lita, i feel bad for everyone babbling about the beah so often...i don't know if it bugged you, but it usually bugs me when people are like "oh, look at how much fun we had and you couldn't be there"... so yeah, whether or not it upset you at all, i did feel bad.
~i feel bad for being in such a shitty mood at the game... i just felt so...detached from everyone, and my inner only child came out ready to raise hell
~ i don't like letting patrick get to me, really... it just happens
~ g, i really didn't mean the scarf thing, seriosu...haha.. i know it's dumb and i should just let it go, but i guess i was just poking fun at how posesive our group has to be all the time, and i didn't mean to be such a condescending ass...

"but you drive for desperation. you drive because you have no tomorrow..."

...and fufilling nostalgia:
~the beach really was wonderful...the car ride, while insane, was seriously one of the funniest of my life....bryan singing remix to ignition, maggie co-pioleting, jason getting sandwiched by the trucks, me "almost killing us several times", and just generally being stho cute...
~when me and maggie went to find a bathroom, we were both so out of it that we were just babbling...watching kids get dropped off in the middle of the highway, and maggie's beautiful "no one should throw shells at another person, even if it's their birthday. i mean, jesus couldn't throw shells if it was his brithday. same with buddha, and god only knows when that is...."
~the cake was sooo disgusting (when ryan stuffed it in my mouth i was honestly about to hurl...haha) but it was really fun
~watching jason and bryan shake off the tarp
~ seeing ryan's chocalate covered ass...haha
~bryan: "wouldn't it be funny if the ocean just beached a whale right now?"
~ maggie and i changing in the middle of a national highway...
~ryan getting jason's car door stuck open
~ carlie given out the digits to passing cars
~ "i'm bleeding!!! i'm bleeding right now!" "where? how??" hahaha
~ while i wish i hadn't serperated myself so muh because of it, i did enjoy watching a certain guiarist play... and i seriously played it well, believe... we made eye contact a couple of times and he would just start to kinda nod when i'd turn away like i wasn't really looking...haha,t hat soudns dumb, but believe me, it was smooth
~ "stho cute" did get a little weary after a while, but it was really hilarious
~ got to see the huxtables.
~ i liked seeing everyone at the movie theatres... love talking to dorothy and jessica. everyone think they have some other agenda or somthing, but they really are just nerdy teenage girls... they're like "oh, why don't peopel come over and say hi? oh, i'm kinda too shy to just go over and start a conversation"...hehe
~ i love grant, he's such a cool kid and always puts me in a good mood...ok, except for when he tells me i should hook up with patrick...haha
~ patrick while spinning on the tire swing: "HELLLP MEEE!!!" a drunk paul sugarman: "hell no!"
~ seeing val and saiyin on a randevous...awww....hehe
~the drunk black lincoln boys "we're lost" haha
~ seeign that thing do doughnuts, then run into a tree? classic actually
~ getting pulled over was pretty ironic, not to mention fucking lucky how they got off with just a minor ticket...

overall, a very two sided, happy birthday ryan, let me cross my fingers that i have more good times, day.

Turntable Jessie 2:38 PM [+]
...

"...Innocence is overrated now...
...so get this sober feeling down.
Well i guess you've come over me.
so define lonely...."

i think it's kinda funny that you tried to replace me. like i'm worth replacing. and i think it's kinda funny that you tried to give me a replacment for you... i had to say no of course, i don't screw around (no pun intended) with people who were looking for an outlet more than anything...not to mention how young she is...while some of us like that kind of thing (oh, read yesterday please), it's not my deal...and just the fact that you thought i needed somone...whether i did or not...

heh, like you were worth replacing....

"...Innocence is overrated now...
...so get this sober feeling down.
Well i guess you've come over me.

Now i know real love is for free."

Turntable Jessie 10:56 PM [+]
...

wow, after tonight, i think we've got all the bases covered.
I have a friend with a crush on a sophmore, and a friend with a crush on a freshman. looks like juniors lose the spirit ralley on this one...heh...anyhow, both of these are healthy, and actually make me very happy for all individuals involved.

on the other hand, i have someone i cared about dating a sophmore, someone i cared about dating a 20 year old, and someone i cared about dating...well no one. as usual. haha...anyhow, these ones make me a little more upset...i wouldn't even care about a certain church boy, who's been an issue for me for years, dating this girl, but tonight i found out that his reasoning behind the relationship isn't quite right. his intentions are the best, but that's about it...the other two just piss me off...half way at them for doing it, halfway at me for falling for them and leading myself on the first place...

screw age.

Turntable Jessie 11:03 PM [+]
...